Saturday, April 03, 2004

Movie Ratings

* * * * * Buying the DVD as soon as it comes out
* * * * Worth paying full-price admission
* * * Worth paying matinee admission
* * Worth a rental
* If it's on cable and you've nothing better to do
0 If this is your inflight movie, you're better off going to sleep

Films may be judged on the basis of writing, acting, the presence of fight scenes, the technical proficiency of fight scenes (I'm looking at you, Ben Affleck as Daredevil, and how much cake did Lawrence Fishburne stuff between The Matrix and The Matrix Reloaded anyway), the appropriateness of fight choreography - that is, do characters trained in a particular martial art use that art's techniques, are wirework and special effects (e.g. bullet time) overused in a non-fantasy setting? (Since when the f*ck can Charlie's Angels dodge bullets? The only thing that should be defying gravity in that film is titties) - fight scenes' use of wide angles and long edits or lack thereof (That means you, Seagal and van Damme) and the exposure of female nipples.